January 10, 2012

Premarital Financial Counseling: What are your thoughts about borrowing money from parents?

By admin in Money Before Marriage Lesson

Brides and grooms this is one of those premarital financial counseling questions that may get touchy but it needs to be gotten out in the open. Have you asked your future spouse what his or her thoughts are on borrowing money from parents? This could be "tricky" especially if one of you has borrowed money from a parent in the past. You may feel as if you should be able to do it. Hold on to your seat because once you are married, you and your spouse should be able to solve your financial challenges without one of you turning to a parent per se. Why do I say that? Picture this. Let's say you are the bride who is used to getting her way. Whenever you have "wanted" (notice the key word) something and you went to mom or dad they gave it to you. Now that you are a bride-to-be and let's say you and the groom are paying for your wedding, there are certain items that the groom has said the wedding can do without. Instead of you agreeing with him, you decide to go behind his back and contact your parents. You give them your "sob" story and they in turn purchase those items. How do you think this will make your groom feel? Granted this could be a few small items; however, there are husbands and wives that have "secretly" gotten loans from their parents without initially telling their spouse. Once it came out in the open, it caused more problems than it was worth. Brides and Grooms should establish a Borrowing Money from Parents Agreement. It should detail the following: 1) What are the circumstances you both would agree to borrow money from parents? 2) That it will not be a secret. 3) What is the amount you would be comfortable asking for without feeling as if you are taking advantage of your parents? 4) Must agree that is a loan and it will be paid back. Develop a payment schedule to pay them back so that borrowing money does not ruin the relationship. 5) Agree that it does not need to be discussed among siblings or other relatives. That this loan will remain between the spouses and the parents the money is being borrowed from. 6) Decide which parents the money would be borrowed from. At the bottom, both husband and wife should sign and date. This way there is no confusion regarding borrowing money.

Read more