January 12, 2012

Premarital Financial Counseling: How it affects the Groom when she makes more!

By admin in Money Before Marriage Lesson

I get this premarital financial counseling question often during interviews: Can a wife being the breadwinner affect the husband? Absolutely depending on the husband's background and makeup. Society has ingrained in men that they are supposed to be the providers for the family. If they don't provide then they are less of a man. (Not all husbands will feel this way) What happened to husbands and wives being in a marriage together and working together. They are a team not opponents. Let's face it. It is a different day and time. Women do work outside of the home (not all women), yet there are career oriented women who are also wives and mothers. They bring home BACON too. Why not between the husband and wife they bring home the WHOLE HOG and have a feast because they are DOING it together. Brides and grooms, perception is key or maybe I should say MINDSET. What's bad about a wife whose income is more than a husband's? Can it be bad? Yes it can in the following situations: 1) If this leads her to disrespect her husband or groom it is a bad thing. Her having more income has nothing to do with his level of work ethic or income. He may be in a position at work that is not promotable. If he is in a job that is not promotable, what is his game plan? 2) If she is utilizing this to control her husband that is also not the move to make. While she may be making more - she may not have always made more and he was with her while she was climbing the corporate ladder supporting and encouraging her along the journey. It is a WONDERFUL feeling to achieve different goals, yet it is no fun if you don't have someone to share it with. 3) If she talks down to him and is not appreciating WHAT he brings to the table. Brides and wives, if you don't appreciate your spouse someone ELSE will! Enough said. You didn't or should not marry him because of the money! Continue to love your spouse for who HE is. What made you fall in love with him in the first place? Accept that HE is going to change over the years JUST like you. You may be making more money now but that will not always be the case. If you treat him wrong, then where will you when it changes. Stay tuned for Part 3.

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