January 23, 2012

Premarital Financial Counseling: My fiance’s bride is overspending and he’s ignoring it! UGH!

By admin in Money Before Marriage Lesson

Today's post comes in from a parent, specifically a mother - talk about a premarital financial counseling issue that needs to be addressed. She writes, my son's bride is overspending on the wedding and he is ignoring it. I have been trying to tell him that they are headed for trouble if she is already overspending and they are not married yet. How can I get through to him so that they will not be in financial trouble after the wedding? Response: Dear Mother of Groom, you have to present it in a different way. Don't come from the "mad or disgusted mom perspective" because clearly you are. Not saying that you are not well within your rights. However, if you want him to take some action you will have to present this information in a way that he receives it and it makes him take action. One approach could be: Sit him down and ask what are his hopes and dreams for the wedding AND marriage. Ask him how much did he plan on contributing to the wedding? Then ask him what are the hopes and dreams for the wedding from his bride-to-be's perspective. Does she the think the wedding is all about her? Ask him what have her parents said if he's been around them about the wedding plans? Mother of the Groom, if he still is not hearing you; then step back and give him a chance to be honest about this issue on his own. If you've instilled in him good money skills then he will not be able to resist having a discussion with his fiance. I've known some fiance's to call off their wedding because brides were overspending; he shared with her that he didn't want to start off the wedding with debt and she ignored him. Then she was left with no wedding. What's your goal Mother of the Groom? I imagine you want your son to have a nice wedding without financial stress and strain. Then share that with him.

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