January 2012
January 31, 2012
Premarital Financial Counseling: Do People choose their Spouse because of Money?
Let's kick off the last couple of days with this premarital financial counseling question which almost sound like it came from our daughter, "Do people choose their spouse because of money"? Answer: There are some people that choose their spouse because of money and let me share with you the challenges that will pose at a later date. (1) What happens if all of a sudden that person loses the money due to investments declining or a job loss. Would the spouse who married for money pack their bags and leave? "No money, No honey"! Or will they have grown to love their spouse and be able to stick around? You decide! (2) Did that person have their act together and had money as well or did they see their spouse as their only source of money? Then once the spouse's income diminished they found themselves lost in the relationship and their identity. Let's face it some people do lose themselves in their spouse and become that person's wife or husband. Caution: I will just put it out there that's usually the wives that lose themselves. Ladies you can still have your own identity and goals within your marriage. That's not a bad thing. (3) Were you pressured to marry this person by parents because they knew you future spouse could take care of you, yet this is not the person you love? Brides and Grooms do not fall into this parent trap just to please your parents when deep down you are miserable. You think it's good to marry them because of money, wait until the marriage doesn't work and it costs you more to divorce! RED FLAG! Those three reasons are more that enough for you not to choose your spouse based on money. Do not fall into any of those reasons above because the relationship will have a hard time being sustained if you do.
January 30, 2012
Premarital Financial Counseling: What happens with a Dating Site and talking money?
Premarital financial counseling is not just for people in the wedding industry. It is also for the dating sites. I had the pleasure of being interviewed by a Dating Site and the host stated that they had not talked about finances and she was looking forward to our interview. What an awesome time we had because we were able to discuss finances from the young to the older people entering in relationships. Talk about a lot of fun because one of the questions was how does an older couple where each person has been married before and are about to enter into a committed relationship bring up the topic of money. I shared with her how many couples that are older - have had experience with money and marriage so they are more apt to discuss it because they do not want to repeat those patterns that happened within their first marriage. They are more honest about what their needs are. I also shared that they must discuss children, child support and/or even spousal support if it supplies. Another fabulous question was should there be a prenup? Whew, I shared with Gloria how in the beginning I used to think if you got a prenup that meant you were already planning for your marriage to end in divorce. Yet, as I became wiser I realized that there are some situation that call for a prenup. The key to a prenup is to make sure it is beneficial to everyone. I also recommended that grooms do not pop a prenup on a bride a week prior to the marriage. That will send the wrong message and the bride will wonder if she ever knew her fiance'. The hits keep on rolling in. The next question that we discussed was a favorite was should couples have a joint account and that's it. I discussed why there's a benefit to a combination of accounts and how when there's only one account and one person managing all the money it leads to problems later on. Or if a spouse dies and the other person was not aware of the accounts and there's no accounts or credit cards in their name, they don't know where to start. Hopefully I will be able to provide a link for you within a couple of days where you can listen to this interview in its entirety.
January 29, 2012
Premarital Financial Counseling: What should an engaged couple be looking for in premarital financial counseling?
One of the best premarital financial counseling questions that surfaced with Cocktails N Conversation is what should couples be looking for when it comes to premarital financial counseling. When a couples is seeking premarital financial counseling they should learn the following: 1) How to decide who should be managing the money 2) How money is being spent and what is the cost of how they spend that money. Does boil down to who is best at handling the administrative skills and don't have to be reminded about paying the bills. The roles of who should manage the money should not be looked at as the traditional roles. It's not the same day when our parents or grandparents were married and only the husband is bringing home the bacon. We know there are women who are bringing home the bacon and it should not hinder the relationship. When couples are searching for premarital financial counseling, they need to get referrals or even seek out their personal banker for the beginning stages. They can research to see if there is someone in their area who is potentially doing it. Check out the entire interview with Cocktails N Convo here which contains a lot of content.
January 28, 2012
Premarital Financial Counseling: How do you start over for those couples caught up in the romance?
This morning started out with premarital financial counseling questions on Cocktails N Conversation. I had the pleasure of being interviewed by Erika and Robin and these Ladies came out the gate with some of the best questions because each had their own experience when it came to money and marriage. One of the questions was why did you write Bride and Groom Money Talk FAQ because one of the host Erika said she could have utilized the book 15 years ago when she was getting married to her husband. I told her that I wasn't married then but was learning. I shared with her I wrote the book because there was nothing out there within the wedding industry for brides and grooms talking about money and marriage. There's information that talks to them about budgeting for their wedding but not beyond that. Engaged couples are not used to having this discussion because no one really tells them they need to have this conversation before they say "I Do". The second question was when should brides and grooms start talking about money. One of the host said they had been together seven years prior to getting married, they knew how they spent money, etc. I shared how people enter relationships and people assume that money is going to be handled a certain way. I talked about what is their budget before they set a wedding budget. Be sure to click the link below and listen to the entire interview at Cocktails N Convo There's also a giveaway being provided through Cocktails N Convo
