February 28, 2011
Today's post gets us to take an even closer look at what the goals are for brides and grooms as a continuation of reflecting on Chelsea Clinton's wedding. I said wedding instead of marriage based on the latest information that has been revealed by close friends of that couple. From what I read, it seems as if Chelsea and Marc of course tried to "squash" the rumors about their marriage being in trouble by some high profile appearances. These appearances came after it was noted he had quit his job and moved to Jackson Hole for a vacation alone. So he returned to where Chelsea was and they began doing the "Red Carpet" appearances I will call them to make it look as if everything was okay. According to close friends, Marc is on the verge of a mental breakdown. Several situations have been revealed such as Chelsea wants children, then the Clintons are saying to him to sever ties with his father which is impacting his relationshp with his father. So I ask you, Ladies and Gentleman were Chelsea and Marc all about the wedding and not ready for the mature decisions and responsibilities that come with being married? Wedding minded means that you are very prepared for the wedding and pretty much nothing will go wrong then once this day is over you feel lost. You've focused on planning, meeting with people and looking through sooo many magazines. It seems as if being wedding minded gave you a purpose, yet after the wedding you have no idea what to do when it comes to the marriage. Therefore, you have set yourselves up for things to fall apart. Let me tell you something, you may be ready to be a bride or a groom, yet you may not be ready for the responsibilities of a wife or husband. THERE's a BIG difference. I encourage you right now before you spend an enormous amount of money on a wedding - figure out which is more important to you. Talk with you fiance' or bride to be and find out what both of you really want. From where I sit, it looks like Chelsea and Marc may be trying to save "face" because of the wedding when clearly that may not be the best solution. I think there's a lot of listening and talking that needs to take place in that relationship as well as any other. Both of these have financial repercussions. Yet marriage is for the long-haul, people are having weddings every day and not taking their vows seriously. Money matters in marriage can't be avoided due to money affecting a lot of decisions that are being made. Next thing you know they are headed for divorce court. I ask you which one are you - wedding minded or marriage minded?
February 23, 2011
I was doing some reading today and saw several stories regarding Chelsea Clinton and Marc Mezvinsky - rumors that their marriage was in trouble, others that the marriage was fine and also stories that the husband had quit his job and was vacationing alone. Let the money matters in marriage talks begin. Let's look at this from the "financial eye": 1) They had an elaborate wedding that was reportedly not more than $1 million dollars. 2) Her husband, Marc Mezvinsky left his job as an investment banker and is spending time apart from his newlywed wife. 3) Chelsea is in school working on her PhD. Whether or not their marriage is over isn't the question for me, the question that I'd like to ask is this - Was there some discussion ahead of time about him leaving his job and going on vacation without her? Had they planned for how this was going to affect the household? As you are planning your wedding, if your future spouse up and quit his job, how would that affect your wedding plans let alone your marriage? If he said to you that he was going to take a vacation alone for a certain period of time, how would that make you feel? Furthermore, if you and your fiance already were living together and you needed both incomes to pay the household finances, what would happen now? Now let's remember, they are newlyweds. Personally, when my husband and I were newlyweds I went on a missions trip for one week after we were married and I was never so ready to get back home to him. I couldn't even think of being gone for an extended vacation of longer than a week or so. Granted we may never know what is happening. What I say to the brides and grooms that are in the midst of planning a wedding - be honest with yourself and your spouse about who you are, what you like and dislike and ESPECIALLY your finances.
February 20, 2011
Over the last few weeks, I have had the pleasure of meeting several brides that are older and marrying for the first time. What an exciting time in the lives of a Bride-to-be regardless of the age. What I have noted is the difference in what is important to a bride that may be in here twenties versus a bride that is getting married for the first time in her late 30s, 40s or 50s. What questions should a bride who is getting married at a later age ask when it comes to finances? Hold on to your seat, because I have some doozies that should not be overlooked and can save brides headaches down the road. The choice is struggling with finances or getting money advice for couples. 1) If the groom has been married before, are their children from the previous marriage that he is paying child support for? Reasoning: You do not go into a marriage blindly. When you get married later, it could be easy to understand a man having been married before and potentially having children. A lot comes with being a parent beyond child support - continuous discussions with the ex-wife (future groom), age of the child; are you willing to be seen as a step-parent? 2) What are the assets being brought into the marriage? Reasoning: There is a chance that both could own a home. Is one willing to give up their home for the other? Do you both live in the same town? Is one of you willing to move to the other town? When it comes to assets, I always recommend depending on what it is they talk with a tax accountant. 3) There's also the question regarding retirement accounts. Once again I say consult a tax accountant to find out the tax implications. 4) What is the employment status of both and what are the future plans. Do both plan to continue working or not? Being engaged and preparing for marriage is an exciting time. It is a new chapter in both the brides and grooms life. I say enjoy it and have fun during the process.
February 17, 2011
Three days ago it was Valentine's Day and there you were watching the man of your dreams get on bended knee and ask you those four words that would get you one step closer to the day you have dreamed about for a long time. When he held that ring in his hands and asked "Will you marry me"? There you were, happy and maybe even tears begin to stream down your cheeks and you said yes. Now that you have said yes, now what? Of course the first ones you shared it with were your parent(s) and they were not surprised, yet very happy for you. Maybe your mom even began to think how much she's thought about this day coming for you. Once you made it past the parents, were you having visions of your dress or go to bridal shows with your friends? Or did you bask in the moment and since that time, it has played over and over again in your mind because it is very fresh. Maybe some of you even called those girlfriends the next day and said he proposed. As you and your girlfriends scream with excitement, your mind began to race. Let the prewedding planning begin!When will you get married? Who will pay for the wedding? How many will be in the bridal party? Ooh so much to do and for some of you so little time. For others you may not even have a date checked yet. Either way, the journey begins and you are about to being a new chapter in your life. The new chapter is called Bride and Groom Money Talk. Grab your pen and paper as we begin to talk about those financial issues you could very well face throughout your engagement that can impact your marriage.